Lett It Be; People are People

I realize that the musings in today’s entry might not seem so brilliant after I write them down; but last night when I had been out with my friend, Scarlet, and we were in one of those deep conversations, these ideas were mind warping in their brilliance. Okay, perhaps I exaggerate a little bit. Whatever; I will let you decide.

Aaaaaaw, Scarlet crashed at my place last night and she is still asleep (and it is 1:30 pm) on my living room futon. She doesn’t snore; that is a bonus. It’d be more difficult to write this with a snoring symphony going on.

Okay, Scarlet and I went out last night. She needed to find a job, and I just needed to get OUT! So I was sitting there, at this one bar/restaurant, eating some steamed veggies (I am a demi-vegetarian) and drinking a Diet Coke. She was having a beer. I mentioned to Scarlet -- I forget how the topic came up -- how I don’t get to talk about books with people anymore.

There was one guy; many, many years ago. He used to talk to me about books. He got me reading Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (sp?) and a series by… well, the Clan of the Cave Bear series. I forget who it’s by. And he would talk to me about philosophy.

So I turned to Scarlet and I said… (and I am not going to put quotation marks around everything, that’d be too intrusive to the central idea, so pay attention).

I imagine that there are a bunch of souls floating around. Waiting to be born. Each is a component of the (positive) energy put out by the universe. The universe will never lose energy; an object in motion wants to remain in motion. So, the universe will never run out of souls (and I believe that humans are not the only life form to have a souls; I think all living things has a form of a soul; perhaps just not exactly like a human’s. Also, who are we to say that other living things don’t have souls?)

I also think that one’s life is predetermined to a certain point. Each of us has a destiny, if you will. So, I am destined to begin my life at point A and end it at point Z. Here is the cool part; HOW I get to point Z, and how quickly, is up to me. That is where free will comes in.

My life has been interesting so far. I went to high school and did well. I went to college (the first time) and I failed out and just gave up, really. Immediate gratification, at the time, was my “thing.” I partied, I drank, and all the other stuff that seems to go along with college when you are 18 years old. I got in a car accident, I fractured my skull, I went through Hell, I was married (in a bad marriage), I started on a career path that I love now…. Etcetera, etcetera. The point here is, I lived my life, and I learned some valuable things that formed who I am today.

I am now back in school. I will graduate with two degrees in December. Then on to my master’s at, hopefully, UNT.

So here is my point. I believe that I was destined to get my degree. However, I also believe that I was destined to learn those lessons of life to get me to where I am today. I know there is still more that is coming in my life before I can reach point Z.

If I had not failed out of school all those years ago, and I did really well and let’s (for shits and giggles) say I went all the way through school and received my PhD. I would still not be who I am today without going through those life lessons. So, I submit that though I had completed one part of my destiny, my education, I would still need to complete the other part of my destiny, the life lessons, to bring me to the point I am at in my life today.

I know, very “Sliding Doors” of me to say that. BUT, let me take it one tiny step farther. At school I run into fellow students all the time who look down on me because I am so old to be completing my degree, or they look down on those who didn’t go to college and instead went to work for Wal Mart. Now, I don’t know about you, but I am a reasonably smart person. I also worked at Wal Mart. I was also an animal attendant at the local medical school (talk about condescending students!). I have had shitty, low-paying jobs. Those medical students judged me as “less than.” Life SUCKED and my positive energy balance was in a bad state. But I learned some valuable life lessons.

I am not "less than." NO ONE is less than. We are all intended to reach our point Z, whatever that Z is for us. Some of us, however, just take the scenic route to get there. Some reach it quickly. The difference is created by free will. Your life is what you make it; no one is “less than,” and that guy who delivers news papers to you today might be destined to someday be the next Gandhi. Who do you think you are to decide that you know what point in life another person is on, or if they are worthy of be in correspondence with you? Who are you to judge that I (for example) am not worthy to talk (or email) to you?

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Okay now I was also thinking. Do I want my blog to be Googleable? I tried to Google it the other day and didn’t find it. Let’s try an experiment. I am going to enter some key words here, and see if I get more visitors. Just for “fun.”

Julia, blog, English, books, philosophy, communication, analyze, UTSA, UNT, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, Texas, love, heartbreak, bliss, education, school, college, university

THANK YOU, GOODNIGHT!