All about my search for meaning and happiness in a world that pivots around convenience.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Seriously.

Okay -- I feel like I must create an addendum to this.

I had an incredibly busy, stressful and difficult week, that culminated in a very emotional and particularly stressful Friday. I also had not slept much Thursday night -- so I was tired on top of it all.

I am a writer. I write. When something is bothering me, I deal with it (or try to) by writing about it. That is my whole reason for having a blog. It is a means for me to vent. Barf out all my pent up frustrations and deep thoughts. That is what my blog entry (see below) was all about.

I was feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable and I was pushing all my emotions into one area, and around one person. I'm cool now, I just had to write this note to say that -- should that person read this -- I realize that this may look bad, but I honestly just had to get out my frustrations somehow.

That said, goodnight, I hope you are well, and welcome back to SA.

:)
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My Dearest MA1.

I feel like I am going crazy. Maybe I already was crazy and I am just now recognizing it. Maybe you recognized it and that is what is going on, and why I am feeling particularly vulnerable.

Your profile poofed. You don't answer the phone. You don't call me back. It is looking bad. I know, I have seen it before. Bad is not new to me.

You had this ability to "chisel" through. It wasn't so much that I absolutely believed again, but it is that I wanted to believe. Maybe romance is not just an illusion of veiled perception. I had fun talking with you. I looked forward to seeing you. You become top on my list of "potentials."

I don't like the way I feel. So, knock it off.

OR, you may just have been unable to talk to me. Maybe you are on your way back to town or something and things were just bad. Timing was bad. You forgot your phone. And you poofed because you like me, and wish to pull yourself off the market.

Cha!

Or I am just paranoid and insane. And maybe a touch obsessive.

Whatever. Thanks.

Fix it, please.

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